Transitions

So, I turn 30 in 3 days. And I'm waiting for my epiphany moment, my moment of enlightenment that will neatly sum up how I feel about moving out of my twenties and into my thirties. Thing is, I'm finding it really hard to get a handle on how I am feeling, because I suppose I am trying to force some sort of emotional reaction to it all. Im also really busy with the exhibition and thinking about the best ways to celebrate the event, so reflection and musings are not being given much energy!

I do feel a bit reflective, even if its hard to gain any deeper insight! Its been a real year of change so far, other people are changing around me, and things have changed and shifted in my life. Getting my new job has made me realise what a big part of my life being at William Knowles has been, and its hard to be letting go of it, even if I know its been positive and for the best! Im in a transition period. I'm seeing where the new job is taking me, but aware that other things like starting a family and working on my art will being to take precedence as I move into my thirties.

I feel like with all the change that has happened recently, things are still up in the air, and I have a feeling that the first year of being thirty will be about seeing where everything settles when they come back down.

Also, the exhibition is a great metaphor for where I feel I am. I have been frantically finishing off canvasses so that all my work is at a point of completion, but after the exhibition, I will be facing lots of new blank canvasses and seeing what direction I am taken in. This feels true of whats to come in my life. I kind of know where I want to be, but don't really know how I'm going to get there or what things will look like when they are finished.

Its exciting and scary all rolled into one, but I don't think I would want to feel any different......