Saturday, 26 May 2007
Tuesday, 22 May 2007
A post about nothing in particular.
Its just that its been a while since I blogged and I feel I ought to!
Its rapidly approaching the mid way point of the year and it feels like time to start taking stock. Im wondering how creative I have been in light of my word of the year! I guess Im doing OK. I'm really enjoying my art process at the moment, and I'm thinking of having my first solo show at the Q Gallery in Weston. I am also thinking about how I can be more creative with the way I dress. Tried a new look and I think I like it......
But I still have this nagging feeling that Im not doing enough. I could be being more creative and doing more thing. Will life always feel like this, that I am always striving to be better and not quite making it? Perhaps it will feel better whan I finally get round to doing all those tasks. Perhaps it will feel more balanced when my job is not so new, busy and exciting. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.....
Its rapidly approaching the mid way point of the year and it feels like time to start taking stock. Im wondering how creative I have been in light of my word of the year! I guess Im doing OK. I'm really enjoying my art process at the moment, and I'm thinking of having my first solo show at the Q Gallery in Weston. I am also thinking about how I can be more creative with the way I dress. Tried a new look and I think I like it......
But I still have this nagging feeling that Im not doing enough. I could be being more creative and doing more thing. Will life always feel like this, that I am always striving to be better and not quite making it? Perhaps it will feel better whan I finally get round to doing all those tasks. Perhaps it will feel more balanced when my job is not so new, busy and exciting. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.....
Sunday, 13 May 2007
Self Portrait with Scars, Imperfections and Secrets
So now you can see just how personal this piece of work I exhibited was!! I had some really positive comments though, which was great. Also, I had one from a studio member which left me feeling very humbled. She told me how much she liked what I had done, and then told me it had provoked a very useful and in-depth conversation with her daughter. Her daughter had seen it in the exhibition and had asked some questions about it, which led to them discussing issues around body image and media pressure. She told me it was a really useful conversation.
This felt GREAT! Usually my work is pretty abstract, so just provokes an aethetically or emotionally based response. However, this work deals with issues and is very provoking! And I liked the response I got! I really feel inspired to do more work that challenges and provokes, particularly working with ideas around body image and the medias skewed perceptions. Lets get political!!!
This felt GREAT! Usually my work is pretty abstract, so just provokes an aethetically or emotionally based response. However, this work deals with issues and is very provoking! And I liked the response I got! I really feel inspired to do more work that challenges and provokes, particularly working with ideas around body image and the medias skewed perceptions. Lets get political!!!
What its like to exhibit
Exhibiting work is really hard. Its out there for the public consumption, and people who don't know you probably will not censure their opinions in order to prevent upset!
The particular exhibition in question is our anuual Studio Upstairs Open. And its particularly difficult in terms of my feelings concerning the piece I have in it. My sculpture is extremely personal, and showing it makes me feel very vunerable indeed! And as it is a self portrait, if people critise it, they are not just putting down the work, they are directly putting down ME!
However, I have had a HUGE amount of positive feedback from lots of the members at the studio. Their opinions are very important to me, so in the face of negativity, this is what I will have to hold on to! I will post a picture of my sculpture and how the exhibition went later.... wish me luck and an extra strong skin for today!
The particular exhibition in question is our anuual Studio Upstairs Open. And its particularly difficult in terms of my feelings concerning the piece I have in it. My sculpture is extremely personal, and showing it makes me feel very vunerable indeed! And as it is a self portrait, if people critise it, they are not just putting down the work, they are directly putting down ME!
However, I have had a HUGE amount of positive feedback from lots of the members at the studio. Their opinions are very important to me, so in the face of negativity, this is what I will have to hold on to! I will post a picture of my sculpture and how the exhibition went later.... wish me luck and an extra strong skin for today!
Monday, 7 May 2007
Dangerous Beauty..... My thoughts.....
I'm tired of all the pressures that come with being female! I'm also tired and angry about the fact that our culture seems to be obsessed with the need to be thin and beautiful. It goes deep, perhaps too deep for it to ever change.
There seems to be a feeling that “thinness” is directly linked to success, and there is also a deep seated belief in the 'what is beautiful is good' stereotype – an irrational but deep-seated belief that physically attractive people possess other desirable characteristics such as intelligence, competence, social skills, confidence – even moral virtue. (The good fairy/princess is always beautiful; the wicked stepmother is always ugly)
I find the ideas and images we are bombarded with scary, insulting, mind boggling and also contradictory. These fucking terrible magazines that are celebrity obsessed are some of the worst peddlers of this bullshit. One minute they are crucifying someone for being too thin, the next page they are obsessing about someone being too fat. (Usually in reality, the “fat” person is probably about a size 12……) And they are then stuffed with endless adverts for all the products we need in order to keep beautiful and young looking and thin. How can these people sleep at night? (MONEY!!! FUCKING EVIL BASTARDS!!!)
Such a huge pressure, and hard to ignore, no matter how much scorn I personally pour on them! I can see that these images and magazines are shallow and pointless. I understand that my sense of worth should not just be based on my dress size, and you know what? Maybe she is NOT born with it, maybe she is computer generated and airbrushed! However, I feel outraged and distressed that I have to live in a society that judges people so harshly on looks. I rage that I have to try extra hard to be seen as attractive as I am a couple of stone overweight. I have breasts and hips and a big bum and look like a woman, but the media would vilify me for this because I do not have the sort of figure where everything is taught and flat and smooth and thin and, frankly, often boy-like.
I find it insulting that we are told the people we need to aspire to look like are often not real women anyway! It just makes me so angry that what is being peddled as the ideal body shape or face has been manipulated on a computer and so therefore is absolutely unobtainable!! I think it is these advances in technology that have turned concerns that have always been around into something verging more on an unhealthy obsession. A couple of little facts……
· The current media ideal of thinness for women is achievable by less than 5% of the female population
· It has been estimated that young women now see more images of outstandingly beautiful women in one day than our mothers saw throughout their entire adolescence.
· In 1917, the physically perfect woman was about 5ft 4in tall and weighed nearly 10 stone. Even 25 years ago, top models and beauty queens weighed only 8% less than the average woman, now they weigh 23% less. The current media ideal for women is achievable by less than 5% of the female population – and that's just in terms of weight and size. If you want the ideal shape, face etc., it's probably more like 1%.
As I said, the pressure is enormous and makes me feel so exhausted, so I'm going to try and battle against all of this madness and unhealthy thinking. I refuse to let these body fascists make me feel depressed, stressed, guilty, shameful, insecure, and body-dissatisfied because of their increased endorsement of the thin-ideal stereotype. I worry about bringing a little girl into the world, as I'm terrified about all the pressure she will be under to be “beautiful”, and it would break my heart if she believes herself to be ugly. It’s my responsibility to foster her sense of self-esteem, so I MUST begin to foster my own.
We are living in a skewed society, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it, or buy into the bullshit. I'm going to try and feel beautiful for who I am. I'm going to try and like myself for my emotional attributes as well as my physical. After all, people who only believe their self worth is based on what they look like will NEVER be happy. I am not abnormal just because I'm not a size 10 and I reject the standards they try and place on me! It feels like a massive battle, but its one I'm willing to take on as the madness and the onslaught has to STOP. When low self esteem, eating disorders and self-mutilation through cosmetic surgery or just pure self harm are rampant in society because of media bombardment, how could I morally not battle?
There seems to be a feeling that “thinness” is directly linked to success, and there is also a deep seated belief in the 'what is beautiful is good' stereotype – an irrational but deep-seated belief that physically attractive people possess other desirable characteristics such as intelligence, competence, social skills, confidence – even moral virtue. (The good fairy/princess is always beautiful; the wicked stepmother is always ugly)
I find the ideas and images we are bombarded with scary, insulting, mind boggling and also contradictory. These fucking terrible magazines that are celebrity obsessed are some of the worst peddlers of this bullshit. One minute they are crucifying someone for being too thin, the next page they are obsessing about someone being too fat. (Usually in reality, the “fat” person is probably about a size 12……) And they are then stuffed with endless adverts for all the products we need in order to keep beautiful and young looking and thin. How can these people sleep at night? (MONEY!!! FUCKING EVIL BASTARDS!!!)
Such a huge pressure, and hard to ignore, no matter how much scorn I personally pour on them! I can see that these images and magazines are shallow and pointless. I understand that my sense of worth should not just be based on my dress size, and you know what? Maybe she is NOT born with it, maybe she is computer generated and airbrushed! However, I feel outraged and distressed that I have to live in a society that judges people so harshly on looks. I rage that I have to try extra hard to be seen as attractive as I am a couple of stone overweight. I have breasts and hips and a big bum and look like a woman, but the media would vilify me for this because I do not have the sort of figure where everything is taught and flat and smooth and thin and, frankly, often boy-like.
I find it insulting that we are told the people we need to aspire to look like are often not real women anyway! It just makes me so angry that what is being peddled as the ideal body shape or face has been manipulated on a computer and so therefore is absolutely unobtainable!! I think it is these advances in technology that have turned concerns that have always been around into something verging more on an unhealthy obsession. A couple of little facts……
· The current media ideal of thinness for women is achievable by less than 5% of the female population
· It has been estimated that young women now see more images of outstandingly beautiful women in one day than our mothers saw throughout their entire adolescence.
· In 1917, the physically perfect woman was about 5ft 4in tall and weighed nearly 10 stone. Even 25 years ago, top models and beauty queens weighed only 8% less than the average woman, now they weigh 23% less. The current media ideal for women is achievable by less than 5% of the female population – and that's just in terms of weight and size. If you want the ideal shape, face etc., it's probably more like 1%.
As I said, the pressure is enormous and makes me feel so exhausted, so I'm going to try and battle against all of this madness and unhealthy thinking. I refuse to let these body fascists make me feel depressed, stressed, guilty, shameful, insecure, and body-dissatisfied because of their increased endorsement of the thin-ideal stereotype. I worry about bringing a little girl into the world, as I'm terrified about all the pressure she will be under to be “beautiful”, and it would break my heart if she believes herself to be ugly. It’s my responsibility to foster her sense of self-esteem, so I MUST begin to foster my own.
We are living in a skewed society, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it, or buy into the bullshit. I'm going to try and feel beautiful for who I am. I'm going to try and like myself for my emotional attributes as well as my physical. After all, people who only believe their self worth is based on what they look like will NEVER be happy. I am not abnormal just because I'm not a size 10 and I reject the standards they try and place on me! It feels like a massive battle, but its one I'm willing to take on as the madness and the onslaught has to STOP. When low self esteem, eating disorders and self-mutilation through cosmetic surgery or just pure self harm are rampant in society because of media bombardment, how could I morally not battle?
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