The process of 99,000

The other day at the studio, still in the midst of the scariest creative block I have ever experienced, I was scribbing on a page, trying to break my block. I found the phrase "the mental block" in a magazine, so, as it summed up what I was feeling when creating the piece, stuck it in the middle of the drawing. This began an idea..... What if I stuck a random word or phrase onto the paper first and used that as the inspiration for the work? This seemed interesting. So I merrily set about cutting out lots of words from magazines in order to start this off. And one thing I cut out jumped out at me, and the idea was immediate. 99,000. What if I tried to draw 99,000 circles onto the page?

I think I had no real idea what I was talking on. Now that I am involved in creating the work, the task seems immense! Why on earth did, say, the number 420 not jump out at me?! But the whole thing is amusing me and making me narked off in equal measure! Its all gone a bit conceptual. Its making me feel just a little bit crazy, and very autistic. In order to keep count, I am marking every 100 circles, so the back of the page is beginning to look like when somebody marks the days off when they are in prison or something...However, this counting thing is forcing me to draw in a very different way. I have to concentrate on that, so I'm more concerned with not losing count than with how the drawing looks. It feels quite medatitive, and I'm finding that all these ideas are flowing into my head as I'm doing it. I finally feel like my block is lessening, I've got ideas, I can envision a whole exhibition based around these ideas, I'm enjoying the humour and not taking my work so seriously. So despite feeling mad, being extremely obsessive compulsive and often feeling like my arm is going to drop of throughout, it feels good! Its a real battle of wills between me and the idea. Will I manage to make it to 99,000, or will it send me so insane that I totally lose it?!?

For now, its gone in as one of my submissions for this years Studio Upstairs open studios. It not finished, its only on 20,000. (Yes. I am aware I sad that I know the figure) But at the moment, it looks great, really colourful, and has been provoking lots of curiosity and conversation in the studio, so we will see if it gets selected. If not, then thats OK too. I know it will be displayed at some point, if its not selected it means that its not meant to be seen until it is finished. And as Dave pointed out the me, unlike 99% of my work, at least I will definately know when 99,000 is finished!!