Confessional

Sigh..... where are all the months going?

Yup, its been ages since I last posted.Summer has well and truely left us, and I'm afraid I can't pretend it is Autumn either. It is cold, wet and pretty miserable, and I am mourning the loss of my long walks with The Rubester every day. (although we still walk, it has to be said, we just end up getting a little soggier.)

This is going to be a post where I am most honest with myself and own up to something that has been becoming increasingly more obvious to me recently. I have had a stark realisation that I have outgrown my studio down at The Quarry. If I am honest, I probably outgrew it on the day I moved into it. Since having "T.R", I have been buzzing with new ideas and creative thoughts, despite having little time to realise them. And being flooded with inspiration has made me realise that I have probably not created anything truely new since working at The Quarry. I have spent lots of time procrastinating by finishing off old work and reworking stuff, rather than following any new paths. Because of this, my practice up there feels pretty stale.

I think there are a number of things that have contributed to this feeling. For a start, the space is too small. Secondly, much as I have enjoyed and been challenged by having a studio that is occasionally open to the public, I have found it equally stiifling. I have struggled to let go of myself and go a bit wild and experiemental. When I had my room at home I could really go for it without fear of being judged. Ok, so the work wasn't always good, but it was freer and I could be much less inhibited.

It feels like time to move on, I'm just not sure where to yet. My ideal would be to have a big old studio at the bottom of my garden I could retreat to, occasionlly get drunk in and paint away to my hearts content. Sadly, in a flat with no garden, this is not really an option!

I'm not really sure what the solution is, but to have acknowledged this feels like the first step to finding it.....